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Our Methods and Approaches
Every separation is different.
How you resolve matters will depend on your situation, what you and your former partner can agree on, and what is realistic given the relationship between you.
At Harbour Family Law, we work across a range of approaches, from informal negotiation through to collaborative practice and, where it’s needed, court proceedings. Our aim is always to find the most constructive route for your circumstances, reduce conflict where we can, and help you reach a resolution you can move forward with.
We’ll talk you through all of the options at your initial consultation and help you work out which method, or combination of methods, is most likely to work for your situation, so don’t worry: you don’t need to have it all figured out before you get in touch.
Reaching an Agreement Between Yourselves
Some couples are able to reach an informal agreement on finances, property, or child arrangements between themselves, before involving a solicitor. This is sometimes referred to as a ‘kitchen table agreement’.
If this is you, that’s great news, however it is still important to get legal advice on what you’ve agreed and make it formally binding. An informal arrangement, however sensible it seems, doesn’t carry the legal protection of a properly drafted consent order or separation deed. Financial claims can stay open long after you’ve separated or divorced, and arrangements can unravel if circumstances change.
We can look at what you’ve agreed, advise on whether it’s fair and workable, and put the right documents in place to make it official. It’s the cheapest and quickest method, and it gives you both certainty and a clean slate to move forward with your life.
Mediation
Mediation brings you and your former partner together with an independent, trained mediator who helps you have a productive conversation and work together towards an agreement. They don’t take sides or make decisions for you; they just create a space for both of you to talk things through.
Talks can cover anything, including finances and child arrangements, and it works best when both of you are willing to engage, even if there’s tension between you. For many couples, it’s a more affordable and less adversarial path than going straight to solicitor-led negotiation or court.
It is legally required to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before making most court applications, except in specific cases such as domestic abuse where it would not be constructive or safe to do so.
We can help you prepare for mediation, advise on your legal position throughout, review any proposals before you agree to them, and recommend experienced mediators in your area.
Constructive Negotiation
Where mediation isn’t suitable, or where matters are more complex, your solicitor can work on your behalf to correspond with your former partner’s solicitor, put your position clearly, and negotiate a fair outcome. Round-table meetings, where both parties and their solicitors sit down together, can move things forward more quickly than written correspondence alone. We will advise on what is best for your situation, but it is always your decision.
''Ros acted with compassion and sound advice as I navigated my way through my divorce. My ex-husband and I were keen to keep things as amicable as possible whilst completing the divorce as swiftly as we could. We achieved this through the advice and support of Ros who understood our situation and acted in the best way to achieve this. Our divorce concluded within 5 months and to this day my ex-husband and I remain good friends. I am very grateful to Ros for easing the way through a very difficult time.''
Resolution Together
Harbour Family Law is an advocate of Resolution Together: a service where both you and your former partner work with one lawyer to work through your separation in a constructive, amicable way.
It works well when you’re both committed to reaching a fair outcome, particularly where children are involved. Rather than two separate legal teams working against each other, you share one lawyer who has both of your interests at heart, which is more cost-effective, and commonly more constructive. It is different to mediation in that your solicitor can not only facilitate discussion but also provide legal advice and draft the final paperwork.
We start by meeting each of you separately, so you both have the chance to tell us what matters most and what you’re hoping to achieve. From there, we bring you together in joint meetings to work through the options, giving detailed legal advice along the way and helping you navigate any disagreements constructively.
Once you’ve reached an agreement, there’s a 14-day cooling-off period before you both confirm you want to proceed, at which point we prepare the documents to make it formal. Resolution Together isn’t right for every situation, but if you’re both ready to work through things openly and in good faith, it can lead to more peaceable outcomes.
For more information on Resolution Together, read our blog post on the subject.
Collaborative Practice
Collaborative practice is one of the most constructive ways to resolve a separation. It’s designed for couples who want to protect their family relationships and reach an agreement on their own terms, without the uncertainty of court. All members of our team are accredited collaborative practitioners, and we encourage a humane path through a hard situation.
You and your former partner each have your own specially trained solicitor, and all four of you sign a written commitment at the outset not to go to court. That commitment provides a truly meaningful incentive to make things work; if either party walked away from the process, both solicitors would have to step back and new ones be instructed, raising the costs and length of the process.
Meetings involve you, your former partner, and both solicitors. The discussions are open, and the focus is on finding solutions that work for everyone. Other professionals, like financial advisers or therapists, can join as needed, depending on what your situation calls for.
For more information on Collaborative Law, read our blog post on the subject.
Court
Where there’s a clear breakdown in communication, a serious imbalance of power, or matters that simply can’t be resolved any other way, a court application may be the right step. It tends to take longer and cost more than the alternatives, but the process is structured and can still lead to settlement before a hearing.
Court is our last resort, and we’ll always be honest with you about when it’s necessary. For most people, it isn’t. But if it comes to it, we’ll be in your corner, working closely with you to prepare your case alongside specialist barristers who are experienced in family court matters, and who will represent you at hearings. You won’t go through it alone.
Your Initial Consultation
Not sure which approach is right for you? That is exactly what your first conversation with us is for.
In the first meeting, we’ll sit down over a hot cup of tea or coffee and listen to your journey and situation. We ask questions, listen, understand your situation, and what you need help with most. From there, we’ll talk you through where you stand legally, which methods are available to you, and what we think is likely to work best given what you’ve told us. We will always be honest with you, and we explain legal fees clearly, so there are never any nasty surprises. You don’t need to have a clear plan or know what you want to do next. You just need to get in touch.
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